A
Narrator: … Professor Middlebrow, a linguist from the English Planet, and Gergely Martin, and engineer from the Hungarian Planet, have been trying for weeks to break the code. At last they have found all the 13 expressions they need. Now they have to discover how to use the expressions to open the lock on the safe and find the 20th century invention to save Galaxy X.
* * *
Greg: Hallo, Prof, today’s the great day. I’m so excited. Today we open the safe and to celebrate I’ve brought along a bottle of Sputnik champagne.
Prof: You’re rushing things a bit, aren’t you?
Greg: What’s the matter? Aren’t you excited?
Prof: Well, I am excited but I am also a little worried. Look, I’ve just found this. It was inside the cover of the last tape.
Greg: What is it?
Prof: A booklet in Hungarian. I can’t think how we missed it. Now I’m really afraid we may have been on the wrong track all along. We’ve probably…
Greg: Let me have a look.
Prof: I can’t understand it. What does it say?
Greg: „Tájékoztató az állami nyelvvizsgáról” … Don’t you know what this is? „Tájékoztató az állami nyelvvizsgáról”!
Prof: For goodness’ sake, stop laughing and tell me what it is.
Greg: General information on the state language examinations.
Prof: What?!
Greg: General information on the state language examinations.
Prof: But I still don’t understand…
Greg: Well, you see, Hungarian has never been very widely spoken, unlike English, say, so we Hungarians have always tried to learn at least one other international language. There were state exams and if you passed them you even got an extra language bonus.
Prof: How on earth do you know all this?
Greg: That’s why I’m so amused. You see, we still have this system.
Prof: What, after all these centuries?
Greg: Yes, I passed the exam last year, actually. I got an intermediate. I ought to try advanced level now. My English must have improved, thanks to you.
Prof: Yes, you should, but what I can’t understand is what this booklet is doing here.
Greg: Well, it makes everything clear to me now. I’ve never understood this odd collection of tapes and texts before.
Prof: Do you now?
Greg: Yes. You see, there are definite topics set for the state exam, such as family life, health, travelling and so on. And you also have to do a translation.
Prof: Good Heavens, do you think N. O. Hope’s great-great-great grandfather could have been studying English?
Greg: Well, it looks like it, doesn’t it? It’s a complete preparatory course for the state exam: the booklet, the topics on tape and the translations. What a convenient place to hide his code!
Prof: How complicated. A real pihent agyú pasi!
Greg: You’d pass the advanced Hungarian state exam.
Prof: Well, in slang anyway.
B
Greg: Well, I seem to have cheered you up. I’m sure this General Information has nothing to do with the code, so let’s try opening the safe.
Prof: Couldn’t we open the champagne first, just in case there isn’t anything to celebrate inside the safe.
Greg: Pessimist to the last! We can’t celebrate before we’ve opened the safe.
Prof: All right. Shall we try the first letters of the first words of each expression?
Greg: That’s what we thought, wasn’t it?… Hm… HOOPESLVEE. A bit funny.
Prof: It almost makes Hope’s sleeve, leaving out an O and putting in an S.
Greg: It may not be an anagram, you know.
Prof: Or perhaps it means Hope has something up his sleeve.
Greg: What are you talking about?
Prof: “To have something up your sleeve” means to have a surprise, or to keep something hidden.
Greg: Well, he certainly hid something all right. This wretched code!
Prof: Let’s try it. But you dial the letters, O.K.?
Greg: All right. Read them out.
Prof: HOPESSLEEVE.
Greg: Stop, that’s too fast.
Prof: H-O-P-E-S-S-L-E-E-V-E… No, that’s no good.
Greg: I didn’t really think it would be. I think we should only use the first letters of each expression. Let’s try them in order…
Prof: Hm… Nothing. What now?
Greg: Let’s try it backwards. E-V-E-E-L-S-E-P-O… No…
Prof: Then it must be an anagram. Let’s work some out.
Greg: Don’t bother, I’ve brought the mini-computer with me. It’ll work out all the possible combinations. I use it for solving crossword puzzles.
Prof: Oh, what an excellent idea.
Greg: I’ll fix this gadget to the dial lock, then feed in the 13 letters…
Prof: Look, it’s opening, it’s opening! And look at the dial!
Greg: N-E-V-E-R-L-O-S-E-H-O-P-E
Prof: But don’t you see, it’s an anagram all right. Look! NEVER LOSE HOPE.
C
Greg: You see! I told you not to be such a pessimist. Now look in the safe – what’s inside?
Prof: I’d rather you looked. What can you see?
Greg: Nothing much – just some tubes. They look like giant toothpaste tubes.
Prof: Let me see. No, don’t touch them. I’ll put on my safety gloves. Hm. There are 13 of them. Funny it’s always 13. Thirteen tapes, thirteen translations and now thirteen tubes.
Greg: There’s something written on them.
Prof: INSTANT OXYGEN! Oxygen! Greg, this is it!
Greg: We’ve found it, we haven’t worked all these months for nothing, after all!
Prof: Just think what this means – we’ve saved the Galaxy!
Greg: But wait a minute… How can 13 tubes save a galaxy? Doesn’t it say how it works?
Prof: Yes, there’re some instructions in Hungarian. Put on those gloves over there, and you can touch them.
Greg: Sűrített oxigén. Használati utasítás. Oldjunk fel egy köbmilliméter oxigén koncentrátumot 200 köbméter vízben. Jól oldódik, a vízfelület százszorosának megfelelő területet elsőrangú oxigénnel lát el. But that’s marvellous!
Prof: Oh for goodness’ sake, can’t you translate? Don’t keep me in suspense.
Greg: Instant Oxygen. Instructions for using oxygen concentrate: Apply 1 cubic millimetre to 200 cubic metres of water. Once it has dissolved it will produce first quality oxygen over an area 100 times the surface area of the water.
Prof: That’s really marvellous!
Greg: But hang on. I have a nasty feeling 13 tubes won’t last very long for a whole galaxy. After all N. O. Hope’s great-great-great grandfather was only thinking of the Earth when he made it, not a whole galaxy.
Prof: Can’t you work out how long it would last?
Greg: Hang on, that’s what I’m trying to do. Hand me that calculator, please… A year, or at the most 13 months.
Prof: Oh dear, is that all? Then it doesn’t save the Galaxy – we’ll still have to leave.
Greg: But don’t be such a fool, you old pessimist. It gives us a whole extra year! Scientists can do a lot in a year, you know. Just look at the code. Never Lose Hope.
Prof: All right. I’m not losing hope. Now what about the President. We’ll have to tell him about this.
Greg: Oh dear, I can just imagine it – there’ll be celebrations and congratulations and we’ll be heroes and get medals…
Prof: Oh, I can’t bear it.
* * *
D
President: Ladies and Gentlemen, we are here tonight to celebrate the finding of Instant Oxygen. A year ago a space capsule was found in space containing a 20th century safe. Our devoted scientists, sponsored by the Academy of Sciences.
Voice: (in a whisper) Sponsored! That’s not what Professor Middlebrow told me.
President: working in the true traditions of the Academy, have succeeded in breaking the code, opening the safe and revealing enough oxygen to keep the Galaxy going for a whole year. On this splendid occasion I would like to take the opportunity of presenting Professor Vanessa Middlebrow M.A., D. Litt. D.Ph., and Gregory Martin D.Sc., P.C., with the Order of the Galaxy, middle degree. Would Professor Middlebrow and Gregory Martin please step forward… Would Professor Middlebrow and Gregory Martin please come up to collect their award!
Audience: Where are they? Whatever can have happened to them? I haven’t seen them, have you?
President: … Er, hm… Oh yes, of course, I know. They said, yes, they’re working on the new find, naturally. What dedicated scientists they are!
* * *
Prof: Greg, I’m so glad we didn’t go to that celebration. This is much better than shaking hands with all those big bods.
Greg: Yes, it’s a lovely evening for space-fishing, isn’t it?
Prof: Yes, there’s a clear view all the way to the Solar System. Even the code, Never Lose Hope, seems to make more sense out here in space.
Greg: You know, I’ve been thinking: perhaps it’s more than just a code. Perhaps it’s a message as well. Don’t you think it’s more than just a coincidence that his name was also Hope?
Prof: What do you mean?
Greg: Well, there’s only a limited supply of oxygen. Here in the Galaxy we don’t know how to make it. But there on Earth in the 20 century someone did know how to… Listen, Prof. I’ve never told you much about my research… But I’ve had fantastic results lately and now I’m almost sure that we could go back, there is a way.
Prof: What do you mean? Go back in time and space?! Surely it isn’t possible!
Greg: But it is. It’s not easy and not without risk, but we’ve got to do it. Don’t you see, we’ve got to find out how N. O. Hope’s great-great-great grandfather made instant oxygen. That’s what the message means.
Prof: Yes, you may be right. NEVER LOSE HOPE.
* * *