A
Narrator: … Greg and the Professor have so far collected the following expressions: to hand in one’s notice, odds and ends, out of order, to put up with somebody or something, every modern convenience, to show somebody round and to lose one’s way. But they are still worried they may be getting nowhere towards opening the safe and saving Galaxy X.
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Prof: We’re getting on, Greg. We’ve done more than half the tapes now, you know.
Greg: I know, but I’m not sure if we are really getting on. We’ve got a collection of possible expressions but how can we be certain that we are on the right track?
Prof: Well, we can’t be certain until we’ve actually finished the whole lot and tried to use the sentences to unlock the safe.
Greg: But even then we may be wrong.
Prof: I know. That’s what’s so awful. We may be doing something completely wrong. And then even if we do manage to open the safe, we may find nothing useful inside. Do you think we are wasting our time?
Greg: No. Listen, whatever we find – or don’t find – these tapes and texts will have given us a wonderful insight into 20th century life. We can devote the rest of our lives to writing about it in boring videomagazines.
Prof: Don’t be so cynical! So you do think we’re wasting our time?
Greg: No, really I don’t. I’m just afraid we may be disappointed at the end. But never mind. It was worth it. Let’s see what dear N. O. Hope has to say.
B
N. O. Hope: This tape is about some young men planning a holiday abroad. The 20th century was a time when a lot of people of all ages and incomes began to go abroad for their holidays. The airlines organized special charter flights taking groups of people for holidays on the cheap. Shipping lines ran special cruises. There were sightseeing cruises along the coasts of different countries and educational cruises taking people to see the great wonders of the world like the Pyramids. And there were car clubs which arranged holidays for people going in their own cars. Travel agencies did a booming business. In those days people travelled with passports, and had to have special visas and money vouchers to visit certain countries. Money was a problem too, as all the currencies were different. Most people took traveller’s cheques with them, and cashed them at banks or special exchange counters in hotels or stations or at airports. Naturally language was also a problem, but there were guide books and pocket dictionaries for sale everywhere. Although it all seems rather complicated to us now in the 23rd century, people didn’t seem to mind making all the arrangements – that was part of the excitement of going abroad.
Prof: Strange to think that going abroad now means visiting different planets. Actually I must do something about my holidays.
Greg: Have you got any plans?
Prof: Well, I’ve got 42 days paid holiday and I’d like to go to the Snowy Planet for a skiing holiday, but I haven’t been to the travel agency yet. They are probably booked up by now.
Greg: If you want to go in the off-season, it’s probably not too late, but I doubt if you’ll be lucky in high season, now.
Prof: Well, never mind. Let’s listen to the tape and see where these young men were planning to go.
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C
(Tape)
Travel Agent: … there are lots of brochures for package tours over there on the table. I’m afraid there’s not much left for July but not all of them have been filled for August yet.
James: That’s all right. July isn’t any good for us anyway.
Travel Agent: Well, have a look through them and we’ll see what can be arranged for you.
James: Thank you very much…
Tom: I say, look at this: Three week tour of Ireland in a caravan…
James: But we don’t want to drive.
Tom: Not that sort of caravan, you nut! This one’s pulled by a horse!
James: A horse? Do you know anything about horses? Anyway, being with a kicking biting beast is not my idea of a restful holiday. And you have to go across to Ireland by ferry.
Tom: What’s wrong with that?
James: I get seasick. Hey, look at this: Ten days on the golden beaches of Southern Spain. An evening at the bullfight is included in the price.
Tom: I don’t like blood sports.
James: You don’t have to go. And it’s a cheap holiday. Everything is paid for in advance – the return flight and full board at a little seaside hotel. So even if you spend all your money on the hotblooded Spanish girls –
Tom: I told you I don’t like blood sports. Now this looks exiting. Listen: Join a group for students on an overland trip to India in an old London double-decker bus. Six weeks there and back.
James: Super chance to go, but that’s not exactly a relaxing holiday either. And then you have to get special visas and vaccinations. It’s a complicated thing to arrange…
Tom: Don’t be silly, it’s all done for you except the vaccination, of course. All you need is a valid passport and the rest is all organized.
James: That reminds me, my passport’s expired. I’ll have to get it renewed before we go.
Tom: Well, what about going to India by bus? I shouldn’t think you’ll ever get another chance to go there.
James: But I wanted to sunbathe and do nothing except look at beautiful girls all day. I go to work every day of my life by bus – why have my bones shaken on holiday too?
Tom: Yes, but… Wow! Look at that bird!
James: Smashing legs!
Girl: Are there any vacancies left for a package tour in July?
Travel Agent: It’s rather late to book now, you know, as July is the high season. But it depends where you want to go.
Girl: Well, somewhere quiet. A place in the sun. Somewhere where everything’s done for you, breakfast served in bed and so on.
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D
Travel Agent: Well… Here’s one tour which is not fully booked. It’s to a small Greek island. There’s one hotel and a little fishing village there and that’s all. Beautiful scenery and sandy beaches. It’s a two week holiday. The return flight to Athens is included in the price. A ferry boat is laid on to take tourists out to the island.
Girl: Sounds ideal.
James: (to Tom) I say, couldn’t we go in July?
Tom: Perhaps. But what about the ferry crossing?
James: I wouldn’t feel seasick with a girl like that beside me. Imagine being trapped on a remote island with a doll like that!
Tom: It’s probably the sort of place where the mail’s only brought out once a week!
Travel Agent: … the boat takes the mail out once a week, otherwise there’s no contact with the outside world.
Girl: It’s just the thing.
Travel Agent: Fill in this form, please, and you can either pay in full now, or put down a deposit.
Girl: I’ll pay a deposit if that’s all right.
Tom: I think my boss will let me take my holiday in July. A Greek island would be super.
James: Especially with a sex-bomb like that! Let’s wait till she’s gone and if it isn’t filled up we’ll book in on the same holiday.
Travel Agent: Thank you very much. Make sure the rest is paid by 15th June.
Girl: Yes, I will. Thank you. Good-bye.
Travel Agent: Good-bye. (to James) Have you found anything suitable?
James: Yes, we’re interested in that tour you’ve just mentioned to a Greek island.
Travel Agent: But it’s in July, I’m afraid. It’s fully booked for August.
James: Well, we think we could manage July. It sounds just what we want.
Travel Agent: Very well. Just fill in these forms, please.
Tom: Thank you. (to James) Did you see the girl’s name? It was written at the bottom of the list: Miss Virginia Parsons.
James: Ah Virginia! What a holiday you’re going to have!
* * *
E
James: God, I feel awful and to make matters worse I can’t see a single young person anywhere!
Tom: Nor can I. What can have happened to Virginia?
James: There seem to be about twenty old people and us!
Tom: Well, maybe the group is taken out to the island in two boats.
James: Well, I’m not too hopeful. I looked everywhere when we went through passport control and customs but I couldn’t see her. I even looked in the VIP lounge but I couldn’t find her.
Tom: Whatever did you look in the VIP lounge for?
James: Well, she’s a Very Important Person, isn’t she?
Tom: She certainly is. Miss Virginia Parsons. Where, oh where are you, dear Miss Virginia Parsons?
Old Lady: I beg your pardon, dear, did you speak to me? I can’t hear very well.
Tom: No, I was talking to my friend here.
Old Lady: I only hope this will be a good restful holiday. My niece arranged it for me. So kind of her to go to all that trouble. By the way my name’s Miss Virginia Parsons. What’s yours?
(End of Tape)
* * *
Greg: Lovely story…
Prof: You’re impossible. You’d better listen to the Ex.Ex.
Ex.Ex.: to pay for in advance, on an overland trip, it’s just the thing, to fill in a form, to make sure, V.I.P.
Greg: Is that all? Well, that should make our job easier when we do the translation…
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