A
Narrator: … Greg and the Professor have now collected several of the expressions they need to break the code: to hand in one’s notice, odds and ends, out of order, to put up with somebody or something, every modern convenience and to show somebody round.
* * *
Prof: Down and up, turn to the right, touch toes.
Down and up, turn to the left, stretch high.
Down and up, turn to the right…
Greg: Good Lord of Robots! Whatever are you doing?
Prof: Well, you see… I’ve been sitting here all day and began to feel very stiff… It’s good to do some exercises to loosen up a bit.
Greg: And stops one putting on too much weight. I do exercises every morning. It’s the only exercise I get, unfortunately.
Prof: I remember seeing you playing football at the Stardust Grounds.
Greg: Oh yes, I used to play football for the Galaxy Engineers, but I haven’t got time any more.
Prof: Who has? I used to go riding every Saturday afternoon but somehow I’ve given that up, too. So I do exercises whenever I remember. Incidentally our next tape is something about sport, I think.
Greg: Oh, I see, Prof. So you were naughty again and listened to N. O. Hope without me.
Prof: Just his first two sentences…
Greg: O.K. Let’s listen to the rest then.
* * *
B
N. O. Hope: The next tape is about a hiking club and a trip they make to the top of a mountain. Even in those days people were concerned with the amount of exercise they got, and lots of people belonged to clubs of one sort or another. In my great-great-great grandfather’s day the most popular international sport was football, and those who didn’t play it themselves used to crowd the stadiums or sit glued to their television sets to watch the big matches. Every four years they held the Olympic Games, where countries competed against each other in athletics, fencing, wrestling, riding, winter sports and so on. The gold, silver and bronze medals were the greatest awards a sportsman could get. Then there were all sorts of other championships: World Championships, European Championships and so on. People took them very seriously and trained regularly to be on form for the great events. Today in the twenty-third century sport has rather gone out of fashion, though many people still do morning exercises.
Greg: And still do in the thirty-first century! Now here’s the tape.
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C
(Tape)
Mike Hike: Greetings, folks. Everybody here? This weekend I’ve arranged an outing to top all our outings so far. Before I take the roll-call I’ll give you a rough outline of our itinerary. The bus leaves at 8.20. That’s in ten minutes. It’ll take us to the bridge at the foot of Mount Neverrest. From there we’ll go up on foot beside the stream until we get to the Golden Springs. There’s a beautiful clearing in the forest close by, where we’ll have our lunch. I hope you’ve all remembered to bring a picnic with you, as there won’t be any food at the hostel.
Alf: You’ve got the lunch, Maud, haven’t you?
Maud: Of course, Alf! But it’s going to be a diet meal, remember – lots of lettuce and things.
Alf: O.K., O.K.
Maud: Well, after all that’s why we joined the hiking club, didn’t we – to get slim?
Mike Hike: In the evening we’re going to have a barbecue up at the top. Now to get to the top there are two routes, both on the south face. One is the direct route straight up the mountain. The other route zig-zags up and takes twice as long. It’s known as the long route. The north face has never been climbed, it’s too dangerous.
Woman: How dangerous is the north face?
Mike Hike: Well, so far thirteen people have been killed trying to climb the rock face.
Man: And how steep’s the long route?
Mike Hike: Not too bad. There are lots of hairpin bends – you’ll see when you get there.
Man: The guide book says something about a ski lift…
Mike Hike: Come on now! This is a hiking club. We’re not tourists, we’re hikers.
Alf: That’s right, Maud, we’re hikers.
Maud: I don’t care what we are. All I want is to get thin. Just think of all those lovely clothes I’ll be able to wear in the summer!
Alf: All the same, I think we’ll take the long route, won’t we?
Maud: Oh yes. We’re not in our teens any more… not even in our thirties.
Alf: Eh, he’s saying something about the barbecue.
Mike Hike: …and once we’ve reached the top we’ll put up the tents in a sheltered place and then make a fire and sing some campfire songs.
Mike Hike: Now let’s be off – give me your names as you get into the coach and I’ll check them again at the summit… We don’t want to lose anybody, do we?
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D
Maud: … and to think we gave up jogging for this!
Alf: Well, you know why we gave it up! The whole neighbourhood were laughing at us jogging up and down the street in track suits and gym shoes before breakfast!
Maud: Do you think we’ll ever get there? It looks miles away. And we’ll miss the barbecue at this rate, everyone else is miles ahead.
Alf: Maud, you shouldn’t be thinking of food, you know.
Maud: Hey, Alf, there’s a path going off up there. Let’s take a short cut and then we’ll catch up the others and be in time for supper. Frying bacon on sticks and having a good sing song – that’s the life!
Alf: O.K. Let’s try it – it doesn’t look too steep and with luck we’ll be at the top in half an hour. It goes along a valley.
Maud: It’s awfully pretty.
Alf: Come on now, it’s going to get dark soon. We mustn’t lose our way!
* * *
Mike Hike: Wherever can they be? I thought when they joined the club they weren’t really the type.
Girl: No, they are rather on the fat side. But still, it takes all sorts to make a world…
Mike Hike: Yes, but not a hiking club – and I’m responsible. If they don’t turn up soon we’ll have to send out a search party. It’s quite dark already. In fact I’ll send Len and Alastair down the long route right away. Maud and Alf said they were going to take the long route, didn’t they?
Girl: Yes.
Mike Hike: Hey! Len! Alastair! Will you two fellows start back down the long route. Alf and Maud haven’t turned up yet.
Len: O.K. Hope nothing’s happened to them.
Alastair: We’d better take the first aid kit, to be on the safe side.
Mike Hike: Good idea. Go as far as the second mile stone – that’s where I last saw them.
* * *
E
Maud: Lucky you brought that bit of rope, Alf.
Alf: I thought it’d look good – never thought I’d have to use it.
Maud: My! That was a steep bit… Oh Alf, have you hurt yourself?
Alf: No, I’m all right. You must have pushed a stone or something. Let’s rest on this ledge – then we’ll have to try that last stretch. Fine idea of yours – that short cut!
Maud: Well it’s too late to turn back now. I’d be scared stiff to go back down that rock face again.
Alf: O.K. Let’s push on. Hold your end of the rope tight. Come on now.
* * *
Mike Hike: It’s almost ten o’clock. We’ll have to send someone down for a helicopter.
Girl: But it’s dark!
Mike Hike: Well, what can I do? Len and Alastair didn’t see anyone. I’ll have to report this to the police.
Len: I can hear someone shouting for help over by the north face! Bring the ropes – come on quickly. I’ll call Tom and Jack. Alastair’s going to fetch some blankets.
Mike Hike: Good Lord! The north face! Maud and Alf! Impossible!
Girl: Well, don’t just stand there. Do something.
Mike Hike: Coming! Coming! Hold on! Don’t move! Hold on!
* * *
Maud: Shout once more, Alf, I can’t hold on much longer.
Alf: Help! Help!
Voices: We’re coming. You’ll be all right. We’re coming!
Maud: Oh, we’re saved! Oh Alf, we’re saved!
* * *
F
Mike Hike: Now I’d like to call three cheers for Alf and Maud – the first people ever to conquer the north face of Mount Neverrest. Hip, hip, hooray!
All: Hip, hip, hooray!
Maud: I wish they’d stop all this fuss and give us something to eat.
Alf: Shut up, Maud – can’t you ever stop talking about food? Don’t you realize this is the most glorious moment of our lives?
(End of Tape)
* * *
G
Greg: Poor things, a gentle hike becomes a nightmare. Now what about the expressions?
Prof: I’ll put the tape on the Ex.Ex.
Ex.Ex.: to tale the roll-call, to give a rough outline, to take a short cut, to lose one’s way, to be rather on the fat side, it takes all sorts to make a world, to be on the safe side, to be scared stiff, to call three cheers for somebody.
Greg: O.K. Prof, now for some physical jerks before I go home.
Prof: Goddness, no. I’m tired out just listening to those hikers. Anyway I’d prefer to forget about my figure and go and have supper.
Greg: That’s more our style, I agree. We always seem to end our working sessions with a feast!
Prof: Well, why not? Come on and I promise to do some very difficult exercises in the morning.
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