A
Narrator: … So far Greg and the Professor have discovered the following expressions: to hand in one’s notice, odds and ends, out of order, to put up with somebody or something and every modern convenience. They are now going to open the 6th package.
* * *
Prof: I was rather naughty I’m afraid Greg.
Greg: God of Robots! Whatever have you done?
Prof: I listened to N. O. Hope’s message for the sixth tape.
Greg: Is that all? Well, I don’t see why you shouldn’t. After all I’m only your assistant!
Prof: I think we are co-workers really. But you’ll be especially interested in this tape as it’s about Budapest and Hungary.
Greg: Is it really? I’m always fascinated to hear anything about my ancient “homeland”, if I can call it that.
Prof: Your ancestors certainly called it their homeland.
Greg: And what has good old N. O. Hope got to say about it?
Prof: Listen!
B
N. O. Hope: This next tape is about my homeland, or more precisely the capital, Budapest. Hungary is situated in the Carpathian Basin and has been inhabited continuously since Roman times. The Magyars settled there in the 10th century. By the second half of the 20th century the old agricultural way of life was changing as the country became more and more industrialized. The country was famous for its beautiful old sights, good food, wine, music and hospitality. Foreigners came to see the towns and the countryside and to enjoy the thermal waters. Lake Balaton and the River Danube were popular resort areas, with lots of hotels and camping sites as well as week-end houses. At week-ends there was heavy traffic on the roads leading to the resorts, and special trains and coaches were laid on to take people out of the towns. Tours were arranged to visit historical sites, and there were guides to show tourists round the museums. The story on the tape takes place in Budapest, and mentions several of the famous sites and buildings.
Greg: How exciting.
Prof: It’s rather a long tape by the looks of it. Do you think we’ll have time to play it twice?
Greg: No, not really…
Prof: So we’ll have to listen carefully.
Greg: Don’t worry I shall!
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C
(Tape)
Jane: … so I’ll get 10% if I take the heroin out of the country.
Boss: That’s right. Contact A will be waiting for you in the lobby of the Gellért Hotel with a brown suitcase in his hand. Check contents in his room. Hand over money in a sealed envelope.
Jane: Yes, sir.
Boss: Remember, it’s grade A heroin. Worth a hundred thousand dollars. The password is Grade A, and you are looking for Contact A.
* * *
Guide: Ladies and Gentlemen! Will members of the Budapest by Day Tour please come to the coach waiting outside.
Jane: (to herself) Here’s someone with a brown suitcase. (loudly) Grade A.
Mary: Beg your pardon, deary?
Jane: Nothing – “Great day”, I said.
Mary: It is, isn’t it?
Guide: Everyone here? Come along.
Mary: Just coming.
Jane: (to herself) Let’s try again. There’s another brown suitcase. (loudly) Grade A.
Man: Contact A. Come this way, please.
* * *
Jane: Let me see what’s in the suitcase. Boss’s orders.
Man: O.K. Here you are!… Oh no! What’s this?
Jane: Yes, just what is this?
Man: Put… put that gun away! Look, there is… there’s some mistake.
Jane: My God, that woman in the Budapest by Day Tour. She had a brown suitcase. Must be a muddle. Come on, quickly. We must follow the tour.
Man: You follow the tour. I don’t want a guide to show me round Budapest. I want my money.
Jane: You’d better come with me. If we don’t get that suitcase back, neither of us will get any money.
D
Jane: Porter!
Porter: Yes, Madam?
Jane: Could you tell me where the Budapest by Day Tour has gone?
Porter: They went to Heroes’ Square first, Madam.
Jane: What’s the best way to get there? Could I catch them up if I took a taxi?
Porter: Yes, you’d probably catch them up if you took a taxi. You won’t regret it, Madam. It’s a very special, well-organized sight-seeing tour.
Jane: Thanks. Call a taxi, please.
* * *
Jane: If you hadn’t been such a fool, we wouldn’t be sitting in this traffic jam.
Man: If we got out here we could just walk it. Heroes’ Square is right here at the end of this street.
Jane: All right. Pay the taxi.
* * *
Guide: Having looked at Heroes’ Square, the Museum of Fine Arts and the Art Gallery, we’ll then proceed on foot across the bridge over the lovely lake into the City Park. On the right on that small island you can see Vajdahunyad Castle and straight ahead are the Széchenyi Baths. Vajdahunyad Castle was built to celebrate the 1000th anniversary of Hungary…
Fred: Why on earth did you bring that silly suitcase with you, Mary?
Mary: Well, it’s got all my make-up things in it. And clean nylons if I get too hot. It’s jolly heavy though. Carry it for a bit, Fred, there’s a love.
Guide: Behind the Széchenyi Baths are the Circus and the Zoo. The Zoo is one of the oldest in Europe: it was founded in 1860. The builders employed the favourite forms of Hungarian architectural styles. Unfortunately, Ladies and Gentlemen, the park is not looking its best today, and I think spring cleaning is in process. But never mind, over there is the fun fair offering dozens of ingenious amusements to the visitors.
Fred: Mary, are you sure this is your suitcase?
Mary: Of course, why?
Fred: It’s so heavy. I don’t remember it being so heavy.
Mary: If you didn’t complain so much, you’d be a happier man.
Guide: Now from City Park the coach will take us to Castle Hill and the famous Fishermen’s Bastion and Matthias Church overlooking the Danube. You will see the old winding streets of the Castle with their beautiful ancient houses. Here is the coach now, Ladies and Gentlemen. Please get on as quickly as possible…
Jane: Oh, blast, we’ve missed them, there goes the coach.
Man: Perhaps if I asked the policeman he’d know where they went.
Jane: Oh, don’t be an idiot.
Man: Excuse me. Do you know where the Budapest by Day Tour goes after this, officer?
Policeman: Well, I’m not quite sure, but unless I’m mistaken, they will have gone up to Castle Hill… Why do you want to know, anyway?
Man: Oh, I’m looking for a friend. That’s all. Thanks a lot.
Jane: Are you mad? If he got suspicious he’d phone the police station and they’d catch us in a minute.
Man: I was only trying to help.
E
Policeman: (over walkie-talkie) Heroes’ Square Police Patrol. I’d like to report a strange looking couple with a brown suitcase. They are following the Budapest by Day Tour. It may be nothing, but they looked an odd couple. Over.
Headquarters: Thank you, sergeant. Patrol car 6. Patrol car 6. It looks as if we have a lead on that heroin case. Follow the Budapest by Day Tour to Castle Hill, and then on to Gellért Hill. They have lunch in the Citadel Restaurant. Report anything strange immediately.
Jane: Oh, this taxi driver!… Can’t you drive any faster? We’ll never catch them if we go so slowly.
Taxi Driver: Here you are. That’s Fishermen’s Bastion.
Jane: Oh, but the coach is just leaving. Driver, follow the coach.
* * *
Guide: And to the left, Ladies and Gentlemen, you have the Royal Palace, on the right you can see the Buda Hills.
Fred: It surely is lucky we didn’t have to walk much or I’d have thrown this damned suitcase away. It’s so darned heavy. If you’d really needed it I wouldn’t have minded so much, but you haven’t even opened it.
Mary: Better safe than sorry.
Fred: Ohhh…
Guide: When we reach Gellért Hill we shall go straight to the Citadel Restaurant for a typical Hungarian meal.
Mary: That should cheer you up!
* * *
Policeman: Patrol car 6. Patrol car 6. Couple just getting out of a taxi by Citadel Restaurant. Carrying a brown suitcase. Now they are going towards the coach where another couple are getting off with an identical brown suitcase. Radio orders. Over.
Headquarters: Patrol car 6. Patrol car 6. Arrest both couples and take suitcases. Be quick. Over and out.
* * *
Jane: Excuse me. There’s been a muddle over our suitcases, I’m afraid.
Mary: Oh, it’s you again. I thought there was something odd about you.
Policeman: Police. There’s certainly something odd about these suitcases. Would you kindly come this way, please. (gun fire) Oh no, Miss, there are plenty of holes in the Citadel without you making any more.
(End of Tape)
* * *
F
Prof: That was a long story.
Greg: And exciting. I did enjoy it.
Prof: I thought you would.
Greg: Every time we work together on these stories and translations I get more and more curious about the Earth and Hungary.
Prof: Oh no, Greg, you really mustn’t think about things like that. Listen, here’s the Expression Extractor:
Ex.Ex.: to show somebody round, to catch somebody up, straight ahead, there’s a love, anything the matter? better safe than sorry.
Greg: Prof, why don’t you come with me in the time-machine and I’ll show you round Budapest. I’ll show you the sights, the Art Gallery and the Museum of Fine Arts.
Prof: Greg, you weren’t listening to the Ex.Ex. at all! Not another word about the time-machine… By the way have you seen the exhibition that my students have put on?
Greg: What exhibition?
Prof: The exhibition of their space-fishing finds. It’s extremely interesting. And funny! What you can’t find in space! Come on, I’ll show you round the exhibition.
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