A
Narrator: Professor Middlebrow, a linguist from the English Planet, and Gergely Martin, an engineer from the Hungarian Planet are trying to break the code in the hope that the 20th century discovery might save the Galaxy. This is their first session and they are now going to listen to the first tape.
Prof: Well, tonight’s the great night. The first tape.
Greg: I am longing to hear it. I only hope I can catch the words.
Prof: Well, if you don’t, just press that button like this… and the Automatic Dictionary will give you the explanation of the word.
Greg: Fine. First we should listen to the cassette, though, should we not?
Prof: Shouldn’t we?
Greg: Shouldn’t we?
Prof Yes, we’ll see what N. O. Hope has to say about the first tape.
N. O. Hope The first tape is about work and employment. It’s about an interview. In the 20th century it seemed to be very fashionable for people to change their jobs. Some people had too much work, some too little, and others got bored with their jobs. Working conditions varied from place to place. People always wanted more pay and higher positions. When they wanted to change their jobs, they looked at the advertisements in the newspapers or went to an employment agency. They would give a personal history with their qualifications and previous jobs. Then they would go for an interview. The Hungarian text in the envelope, of course, is about jobs, as it goes with this tape. My great-great-great grandfather’s last word was “coincidence”, so there must be some coincidence between the English tape and the translation of the Hungarian paper. I hope you can find it.
Prof: Let’s listen to the first tape then.
Greg: This is going to be exciting!
B
(Tape)
Announcer: This week’s Business Report comes from National Shirt and Pyjamas Ltd. Linenfield, one of the leading companies in the textile industry. National Shirts and Pyjamas employ over 1000 people and produce a total of one hundred high quality pyjamas a day. It is doing well and is still expanding. Recently the Pyjama Jacket Department advertised three posts in its new Pyjama Sleeve Design Section (P.S.D.S.): They are looking for an accountant, a draughtsman and a trading executive.
Announcer: So we sent our reporter along.
Reporter: Here we are in the Personnel Department where applicants are being interviewed by Miss Busybody, the Chief Personnel Officer. The secretary is bringing coffee and the applicants’ files.
Jane: Here are the applicants’ files and the coffee, Miss Busybody.
Miss Busybody: Thank you, Jane. Now send in the first one, will you please. She’s applied for the draughtsman’s job, hasn’t she?
Jane: Yes, the draughtsman’s.
C
Miss Summitup: Good morning.
Miss Busybody: Good morning. Can I see your identity card and driving licence? Thank you. Well, Miss Summitup, let’s have a look at your qualifications.
Miss Busybody: Let’s discuss your training, the courses you have done. You’re an expert in fashion design, I take it.
Miss Summitup: Er… well – as a matter of fact, it’s not quite my line.
Miss Busybody: Well, I take it you’re good at drawing, though?
Miss Summitup: Well, not really. You see, it’s sums I’m good at.
Miss Busybody: I’m afraid we only take really well-qualified people.
Miss Summitup: Well, I know a bit about book-keeping methods and –
Miss Busybody: No, that’s not what’s expected, I’m sorry. Send in the next one, please. Good-bye. (door shuts) What cheek! She wouldn’t do as a draughtsman. She can’t even draw. Now for the trading executive.
D
Bighead: Morning. Here’s my identity card, my health certificate, my passport and my visas. Shall I sit here? Now. First tell me about my financial possibilities, please. What’s the salary? And what about bonuses?
Miss Busybody: Well, er… yes, of course, we are firm believers in profit-sharing… But what about your qualifications?
Bighead: Well, I’m a self-made man. I worked my way up. I started as a junior assistant in an architect’s office. Then they let me work on a couple of jobs on my own but I got fed up because the expected me to be at work twelve hours a day. So I handed in my notice and changed to an engineering and repair co-op. Then I –
Miss Busybody: Excuse me… Have you any experience in exports and imports?
Bighead: Exports and imports?? Goodness, no! Though I suppose my plans have been used abroad.
Miss Busybody: Well – that’s not enough, I’m afraid. We need an expert in exports and imports. Good day.
Bighead: But I’ve –
Miss Busybody: Thank you, that’s all. (door slams) Rude fellow! Oh, dear Jane, we’re not being very lucky today. No draughtsman and no trading executive.
Jane: Well let’s hope the accountant will turn out better.
Miss Busybody: Send her in, please. And this time I’ll do the talking, I’ll tell her what we expect of her.
E
Jane: Come in, please.
Miss Busybody: Take a seat, please. First let me explain what’s expected of you. Please listen carefully. You will be directly responsible to the head of the P.S.D.S. and although we trust your abilities, you mustn’t make any decisions before you’ve consulted him. What we are looking for is a very reliable person.
Miss Lib: It seems to me that you haven’t looked through my file.
Miss Busybody: I can assure you I have, I always work systematically. Thoroughness is my motto.
Miss Lib: There must be some misunderstanding. A job like mine requires initiative. I hadn’t realized that I wouldn’t be my own boss, so I don’t think this is the job for me. Good morning.
Miss Busybody: Good morning, (door shuts) A junior accountant her own boss! What’s the world coming to!… Well, what unsuccessful interviews, (to reporter) I’m sorry. This wasn’t very interesting for your listeners, I’m afraid.
Reporter: I’m sure they were very interested in your methods, Miss Busybody, but don’t you think the last applicant was a trade-executive not an accountant? And I’m sure the man before was a qualified draughtsman –
Miss Busybody: Are you suggesting I made a mistake?
Reporter: Well, not one – three! You had three perfect applicants and you lost them all. (door shuts)
Miss Busybody: Oh, thank goodness he’s gone! These reporters think they know everything!
Jane: Well, he certainly thought we were stupid.
Miss Busybody: He didn’t realize we only interviewed the people because he was here. Surely he knows these posts are filled long before they’re advertised. Now let’s see… tell your brother he can start work as a draughtsman on Monday. I’ll get in touch with my uncle about the accountant’s job and we’ll phone the general manager and ask him when his brother-in-law can take over as trading executive.
(End of tape)
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F
Prof: Well, that wasn’t very difficult to understand, was it?
Greg: Well, as a matter of fact, I found some of the accents a bit strange. I couldn’t catch every word.
Prof: Yes, there seemed to be English people and Americans or Canadians speaking. Of course today, as all the English speaking people live on one planet, there aren’t so many differences in accents.
Greg: Could the American and English people understand each other?
Prof: Oh, I think so. Their pronunciation was sometimes different, and sometimes they used different words for the same thing, but they could understand each other.
Greg: Well… So you see, the story…
Prof: Shall I sum it up for you?
Greg: Oh, if you wouldn’t mind.
Prof: Well, it was a scene at the personnel department of a textile firm that needed a draughtsman, an accountant and a trading executive. The reporter thought that something had gone wrong. He thought the secretary had mixed up the applicants’ files and although there were three perfectly good applicants the personnel officer turned them all down. But in fact the interviews were only a formality as the posts had already been filled by friends and relations.
Greg: I see. So having the right connections was important even then.
Prof: Don’t talk about having the right connections! If I were the President’s sister-in-law, I’d have the money I wanted.
Greg: Never mind. We will manage without the money…
Prof: Well let’s listen to the interviews again, shall we?
Greg: Yes, I was going to suggest that too; though I can’t imagine how we’re going to find the code.
Prof: Well, we’ll need the translation of the Hungarian texts as well, don’t forget… Well, Greg, what about going down to the cafeteria for a drink?
Greg: Excellent idea!
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